Thoughts
by Dead-Or-Not
Summary: Claire's thoughts on her fight with Nikki. Reading "Untold Story" first is advised, to get to know the characters OCs


I step into the chilled night and take a good long breath. Wolf really knows how to push my buttons, and then I go and fuck up with Nikki too. I squeeze my eyes tight and shake my head. I fucked up, royally if I might add and I know it. It's just ... I've never been good at any kind of relationship, even when I was still a mortal. I had maybe 5 friends and even those I held at arms length, never letting anyone through the massively thick walls I built around myself. But I was an odd one, I kept people out so *I* wouldn't hurt *them* or disappoint them. For many other people with walls it's to keep themselves mostly unhurt. My fragile relationship with my father resurfaces at this as well. After the divorce from my mom I never called him dad again, only by his name. He pointed it out a few times, but I ignored him, didn't want any kind confrontation. He always wins in them anyways, since he's even more stubborn than me. That brings me back to Nikki and Wolf, just as stubborn.

A light breeze blows at my face and I feel wetness on my cheeks for the first time since ... I don't even recall the last time I shed a tear, maybe when I was slowly bleeding on the streets on the night of my rebirth. I angrily wipe at the offending liquid and continue with the patrol. I jump on the next rooftop and survey the streets below. Nothing happening, however I itch for some steam blowing. I jump down to the street and make my way to the park, maybe I'll get lucky and meet some creep to beat upon. As I walk, I think back at the fight we just had and the hurt I saw in Nikki's eyes. Those eyes, it's them that finally cracked through my thick walls and I took pity on her while she slowly bled to death in that gods forsaken alley. Why did I do it you might ask, 'twas the fact it reminded me of my own rebirth, it was very similar. Attacked by Lycans and left to die. My injuries were worse so I was reborn to be a vampire, however Nikki's were not that bad … yet. Wolf's idea of a rescue was to end her pitiful life in a swift motion. And I would have done it too, if it weren't for those eyes. I swear to the gods she has some kind of magic, whenever she looks at me with those brown eyes I start to feel again. And I've tried and had been taught that feelings are not a part of a Death Dealer. And the way she looked at me just before … my heart just broke into tiny little pieces. And here I thought I didn't have one anymore, guess I was wrong once again.

As I got to the park I steer myself to the lake. I hear small animals all around me… and then I hear it. There's a big animal with me too, probably on the hunt. And I'm not talking about the stray dogs all over the city, it's a Lycan. I smile wickedly, my wish has been granted, there will be some steam blowing after all. I didn't have any weapons with me but that was not going to stop me from having some fun. I know Wolf would defend him with everything she got, but she was not here, so the poor beast was at the mercy of my foul mood. I waited for him to catch up with me and when I saw him … no, more like an *it* because there was absolutely no humanity in this Lycan. I don't know what made him that way, but I was certain even Wolf would agree to end its miserable life. So I did, after he was beaten down he looked at me with his brown eyes and I stopped breathing for a moment. The look again bringing me to those same brown eyes I just saw a few minutes ago, full of hurt and pain. The human came to the surface for just a moment, time enough to plead for a quick death. I kneel down and break his neck, ending his life swiftly. He turns back into just a boy. I shake my head and start to walk away, but I make a fatal mistake of looking back at him. I stop and turn back. I bury the poor boy, giving him some kind of peace I hope.

After the ordeal I turn back to the apartment to at least try to fix the shit I made. Gods help me since I suck at these things. All I can do is pray, to the gods I don't believe in, that Nikki will forgive me, if not today maybe at least in the future. Wolf on the other hand … we'll never be on the same line … must be the vampire/Lycan thing. I chuckle at that, and think at the first time I met her. Then I would have killed her without a thought, today however … I … I'd give my life protecting her and Nikki. What has become of me, I'm supposed to be the Death Dealer. I don't even recall when Wolf crawled under my skin like that. We may bicker and brawl, but I'd never let anyone hurt her, that's reserved for me, me alone. I make an evil conspiratory grin, as I imagine making Wolf uncomfortable or angry. She's cute when she's pissed and I'm so nice to always point it out to her. Pointing out that she's a blond, pink snouted fur ball get's her in especially foul mood. Make no mistake, she's not like that for real, but that's how I see her. The black snout kind of doesn't fit the blond-ish fur. I don't for the love of gods know how come she ended with that color pelt.

I start to climb up the stairs to our apartment, gods I'm sharing my living arrangements with them, me, a loner. As I reach the doors, I take a deep breath and open the door.


End file.
